Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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