you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
