She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
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my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates