Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god