your room smells of hookers.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.