She's JV to your varsity
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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