Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?