Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sorry about my life...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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