do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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