One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
