gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
