that's an acceptable place to lick
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
