Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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