he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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