That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he shaved USA in his pubs
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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