Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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