no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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