he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is my gift to your gina
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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