The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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