Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
