One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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