Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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