so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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