Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
