you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
