I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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