everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
