I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it because I queefed?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize