what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
