Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
