the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize