I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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