but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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