please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
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I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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