If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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