Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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