i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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