apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
