I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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