My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
