the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
