We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
