Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
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i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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