Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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