why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
