You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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