make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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