Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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