A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize