so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
