I smell stomach acid.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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