and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
