you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
