strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
