He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
