I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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