I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
