this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
