RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
