Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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